We have a secret in our culture, and it's not that birth is painful. It's that women are strong.
- Laura Stavoe Harm
Have you ever been surrounded by people, but felt completely alone?
Well I have and let me tell you that I would rather be alone in the wilderness then feel alone all while surrounded by people. With the birth of my child I have recently spent a lot of time in and around hospitals, and one of the most isolated events of my life occurred while I was there. After what seemed like an eternity we made the decision to perform a c-section. This was our last option, but we wanted what was safest for my wife and our son. Once that decision was made everything else from that point forward moved incredibly fast. I had to quickly change into cheaply made surgery scrubs, pack up everything in our room, and move it into another area. At this point my wife and I separated for the first time since being at the hospital.
This was a terrible moment because all I wanted to do was be there for her and support her, but now I was left wondering how she was doing. While I gathered our stuff she was sent to the surgery room for prep. As the husband and father I was able to be with her during the surgery, but not until they were completely ready to start. Thus began the longest twenty minutes of my life. I was placed outside the swinging doors of the surgical wing on a cold plastic chair. As I sat there in my see through outfit that felt like the same material a reusable grocery bag is made, I watched as countless nurses and doctors walked past me without the slightest nod.
Now I know that in the surgical wing everybody is busy and literally rushing too and from other surgeries, but it's funny how invisible you can feel. I sat there nervously wondering how my wife and the baby were doing, how are my parents and in-laws doing waiting in the lobby, and how am I going to react when I walk in there and see my wife. My mind was going a million miles an hour and simply enough all I really wanted was for one person to tell me that everything is going to be alright.
Only twenty minutes went by, but knowing in that time period that your life was going to change for ever all I could do was simply reflect on my life up unto this point. It was a surreal moment in not only my life, but everyone's elses close in our life's. When after what felt like an eternity one of the surgeons came outside to grab me, and bring me to my wife's side. Seeing her surrounded by a large surgical team was a very intense and scary moment for me, but when we both looked each other in the eye I knew everything was going to be ok. I will have to admit that the operation was a lot more intense then I had ever realized it was going to be, but going through it with my wife took our marriage to entirely different level. When faced with both life and death decisions in a single day you can't help but be changed forever. I can't fully describe in detail everything from that day, but I know that it will be with me the rest of my life.
I love you Katie and Little Robby!
- Robby Silk