Dear Kobe... A Life Remembered
Dear Kobe,
You don’t know me, but I remember the first time I ever heard your name so many years ago now when I was a young kid. When the blacktop games were dominated by kids that wanted to “Be Like Mike,” pass like Magic, or shoot the “3” like Bird. Legends, though, are larger than life; they don’t seem real, and pretending was the closest you could ever get to them. That all changed when I heard about a young kid just a couple hours from my home drafted into the NBA. Kobe, who, I had to know, and little did any of us know what we were about to witness, but something bigger had changed for me.
Playing in the NBA was a goal of mine, one that seemed far off only for adults, but that wasn’t true anymore. As much as the legends before lived in my dreams, the name Kobe woke me up. I practiced all the time in every sport; in the rain, in the snow, in the heat, and the cold, I was determined to be the best athlete I could be. I carried this drive and love of sports with me everywhere I went, and it burned in me at all times. The thing is You helped start this journey, and I’m not alone.
I would love to tell you about the many successes I had in basketball, but that part of my life is defined more by failures. Freshman year, cut; Sophomore year, cut; Junior year, cut again, and each one hurt more than the one before. The last person cut two years in a row if you're curious. And yet despite all this, I never stopped playing or working on my game. Each experience pushed me to work harder, and it wasn’t all bad; as it turns out, I did pretty well for myself. I was best at catching a football and running fast and played four years collegiately.
Our careers never mirrored each other, I had to hang up my cleats ten years before you hung up your basketball shoes, but that’s alright, all athletes have that in common one day. It binds us all in our fraternities and sororities and is forever a part of our journeys. But there are things that we did have in common after our playing days were over, writing and fatherhood. Writing was something I always loved but never had time for because of sports. It quickly became a passion of mine, but soon realized I wasn’t as good as I thought I was, and that happens sometimes. That same drive and work ethic to be the best were already in me, and I turned that towards studying and practicing every moment I could. It didn’t come easy, but nothing in life worth it ever is.
Fatherhood is the single best thing that has ever happened to me, and the love I have for my son and daughters inspires me daily to be the best I can for them. The truth is that marriage and parenting are the hardest challenges you will ever face. I know you are aware of this, and it hasn’t always been easy, but I’m not here to judge. You see, it took a little while, but we are on the same path now. Our children are similar in age, and both our youngest daughters were born this past June. In public, you’re Kobe Bryant, and I’m Robby Silk, but in private, all fathers are simply dad. It’s best this way.
I coach my son’s basketball team, and I love every second of it, and more than anything, I want to pass him the same passion for sports that I did. The same passion I learned as a young kid all those years ago when I first heard the name, Kobe. He recently had an off stretch of practices and games, and it frustrated me more than it should have, but I can’t help it because I love him so much and wanted him to understand all I had accumulated over my many years in an instant. On the way home, I did the one thing I knew how; I told him a story.
My son is very fond of his great grandfather who, passed away not long ago and was legendary for his athletic ability, tenacity, strength, toughness, and his love. Competing in sports needs to be a thing of love, it is a perfect marriage of discipline, dedication, and drive that are all required to make it work. Your heart needs to bleed with every ounce of effort that it can muster, and you either need to leave everything or don’t bother leaving anything at all. You dig into your soul and will yourself to fight for every inch, and when you can’t take one more step, find that strength, that unbreakable courage, and heart to push yourself beyond what you thought possible: my grandfather, MJ, and you, Kobe, all with an unstoppable drive. My son played the best game of his life and hustled as I have never seen before. Rest easy knowing you helped inspire one more great performance.
It’s unfair sometimes how life goes. At 9 o’clock the very next morning, our responsibilities as fathers were paralleled. I left my house to take my son to his practice, and you took your daughter to her game. My son and I made it to our destination, and you and your daughter didn’t. Those words hurt to write. I refused to believe the news; this isn’t the way your story was supposed to end. Hero’s are invincible, and only leave this world when they finish making their mark. Your journey had so much more to give, and so did all the amazing people on that fateful flight.
Kobe Bryant
Gianna Bryant
Sarah Chester
Peyton Chester
Christina Mauser
John Altobelli
Keri Altobelli
Alyssa Altobelli
Ara Zobayan
You should see the outpouring of love, it’s incredible really, and humbling to see how many people around the world you’ve touched. There are very few people on Earth who’ve reached the levels of success professionally and athletically as you have. So why do we care so much? Why do we celebrate athletes to the level we do? I believe so because sports are the perfect personification of what it takes to succeed in life. Focus, discipline, hard work, competition, teamwork, and the countless hours of sacrifice needed to be successful. All these disciplines applied to any endeavor in life will form success, and when we witness someone so good, at the top of their game, making it look smooth and graceful, one can’t help but to stop and marvel at the greatness at hand. We invited you into our homes and personal spaces night after night year after year, and that makes the difference just like the loved ones we share these spaces with. So it hurts, and it’s that simple, really.
For the people who say, “you were just an athlete,” that’s because their perspective is short-sided. They choose to see what they want or focus on the bad when we would all feel incredibly hurt if we were judged in the same way. Celebrity has its downside and always has. We are all human, complex, capable of love and hurt; life is a journey we all share, and it is as giving as it is unfair. We must remember that diminishing someone is a privilege only afforded to those still alive, and using the phrase “he or she was just a…” only happens when that individual was not afforded the chance to live their life fully.
Kobe, I loved you at times, I hated you at times, I learned men fall at times, I understand now that the great ones rise again; the flaws help make you, but great men don’t let it define them. As great as the game of basketball is, fatherhood is a greater game, and when we think of greatness, of reaching that next level, your name is etched forever in the annals of time. It’s up to us now, to carry your legacy, and each and every person that knew and loved your daughter and the other victims to carry on their legacy.
Godspeed and thank you for the memories and all the great times. Robby Silk out.
Kobe Bean Bryant (August 23, 1978 - January 26, 2020)
Dear Basketball - A Film by Kobe Bryant
For anyone looking to support Kobe Bryant’s Mamba Sports Academy or the families of the victims, a foundation has been established to help support their surviving family members in this time of need.
MambaOnThree Fund (The MambaOnThree Fund exists to honor and support loved ones of the seven other victims involved in the tragedy that occurred on January 26, 2020. All donations to the Fund will be directed to their families.)
Support the Altobelli Family (GoFundMe page set up for the Altobelli family who lost John, Kerri, and Alyssa)